lyrics

Excavate the Girl

I'm less afraid and you know it I put all my faith In your hands and you threw it out Canyons of doubt and dollars Perfect girls in soft pink curls Dancing on the mountaintops In the dirt I watch But down in the dirt I'm not humbled just selfish to be feeling this low Rolling the tape gets expensive Waiting to be saved For a voice to be made I didn't need to dig so deep Only how to get free Excavate the girl before I met you Dry the tears from my eyes And ask for mine I thank god you couldn't sell me I couldn't last a day in your coin eating machine Now I know the well is endless that the water just keeps spreading So I'll ask for mine

Tectonic

So long as I'm here Nothing's gonna hurt you I was born to be yours Any time, any world You're the portrait of grace Showing love to every corner Of this fucking miserable place That's just how you're made After the show feeling naughty On your couch, we're tectonic bodies I imagine the end Just a few inches away Graceland in my old room Dancing with the blinds down I love the way you move Could I do that too? We were sneaking out of the party My heart skipping out of time I had nothing to say I just liked when you were all mine Pretending the whole thing was normal Really I went to this party so I Could drive you home Talk in the car till 4 So long as I'm here Nothing's gonna hurt you I was born to be yours any time, any world

Helios

I came to life To listen for your call So complex and evolved I wait in awe Hot, on the sun Heliocentric love You want, you steal, you come Still not enough But I would never love No, I would never love that way Coconut lime Sixteen, so divine You let me want It should've stopped Still don't know who to blame If you looked me in the eye Angels would've cried Oh I oh I oh I Couldn't love that way I'll take the night

Always Mine

You're here in my room on a Tuesday I begged, night after night to end up right here To kiss you plainly at moonrise But you're a tunnel of fear and desire It's real life, I'm uncovering you entirely You say it's frightening But it's so sweet Taking me to The canyon where you would get lost That summer you lived in your thoughts You guide me I don't peek but I feel the ground under me change I'm whole in the palm of your hands Oh let me live terrified Cause I'm always mine When the last star burns out Hear me down in the valley Singing always, always mine It stings to be out in the open You know, my trust has been broken But I'm still here, and love is still free So tell me Everything you Ever wanted, got told you were not That girl the world forgot Oh you can be terrified, but you're always mine When the last star burns out You'll be down in the valley Singing always, always mine I knew the end before it began Always Mine So let me live terrified Cause I'm always mine

Carolyn's Aunts

I felt it from the first time that we met A desire for closeness I'd never felt After half a year of playing your best friend On the back of the bus from Boston, I realized it then Fuck! I wanted to kiss you Not be your stupid friend It terrified me Like when I met Carolyn's aunts I took you out to see a show downtown 16 on the subway on a school night After the show on a soho street alone Well it took 20 minutes, but then I kissed you Deep down I knew, I'd always kiss you And it would spread like wildfire at school but that night All that really mattered, was how I kissed you

Water In

written by Jackie and John Velasquez

Swimming in the lake every morning Nothing could be more important We tell time by the length of hair Till it all over and we go upstairs Water in, water in, water in Planning how I wanted to kiss you Before our moment ends On the stoop before our curfew I hate that you're not there Water In, water in, water in Keeps me wondering, wondering, wondering You said babe don't be so afraid It'll be easier when you're my age I'll never be here again So I'll let the water in Water In, water in, water in

Window

Someday I'll live in a house alone The grass will be thick And my nightmares gone I'll always keep All the windows open No screens No panes Just gaping holes In space But I'm not a window I'm a woman for Christ's sake If I stay that open to life I break No screens No panes You can watch me While I disintegrate Tears like pearls When the chain breaks I am not what you thought you made No screens No panes You can watch me While I disintegrate Tears like pearls When the chain breaks I am not what you thought you made Open your window

Out in the Open

written by Jackie, Lili Joy, and John Velasquez

Saw my brain a treasure trove Cared for every word I wrote As we drove Down the winter coast Cherry cheeks and crimson smoke Loving her just flowed and flowed And flowed Down we go Something's I'll never know Out in the open where the rift is still expanding Why is the absence of your love so demanding I thought a year would be enough but I'm still standing by Wondering why On the cliff, looking out The ocean seems calmer now You turn the page Ask me to sing out loud Well aren't I singing now Out in the open where the rift is still expanding Why is the absence of your love so demanding I thought a year would be enough but I'm still standing by Wondering why

Maze

written by Jackie and John Velasquez

moon struck love on a holiday heavenly bells in this wondrous place the look in my eyes is the biggest tell if you had to leave before the sun woke to rise my skin and bones would ache for days the moment still satisfies what will i learn swear i saw spring in the rise of the morning tide what fucks you up? these are the things that edit my light static flickers, creations maze i feel the pull of all the empty space the branches stretched and blistering with berries will have to die i know, i know, i know, i know its only a matter of time what will i learn swear i saw spring in the rise of the morning tide what fucks you up these are the things that edit my light

Lifeboat

written by Jackie and Noe Boon

The winter doesn't have its bite somehow my fruit's still getting ripe on the vine I'll always gnaw the bleeding lip pulling down the sinking ship as long as I'm in control Nothing ever lasts I found a list of broken dreams singing off-pitch harmonies never to any resolve It's not that I didn't try Some dreams are never realized But hope will still grow From the unknown A bud from the burn The hum of my voice Nothing ever lasts (x2) I'll drown next to the lifeboat (x5)

Fifteen

written by Jackie and Sarah Kinsley

There was a first time Green plaid covering waistline Didn't get I had something to protect Didn't know much yet No mysteries in the daylight Walking the street with a free mind Don't turn this into the last time I feel like a child Was I more of a woman at 15? when the streets would echo behind me some sort of twisted teenage dream I wish I could harden to get used to it all cause don't know what to call My home I want my body To come back down into my arms Sunday mornings when I was 6 I would beg my parents Don't make me go on that cold screeching machine Feet on the platform Watching the monsters tumbling backwards Feel my teeth clatter and I'm alone again In the city full of my friends I'm shaking like a leaf And stunned to learn now I'm 23 It feels identical Coming home from Michael's show I wish I could harden to get used to it all cause don't know what to call My home I want my body To come back down into my arms

Chaperone

written by Jackie, PJ Harding, and John Velasquez

I've been practicing patience Keep my foot on the break And my eyes on the road till it's green Nobody will catch me Driving at full speed In the Hall of Ages, get right up to the glass Cause my third grade class gets a guided tour We're studying dinosaurs and you're the chaperone Now I'm grown, I see You from outside the window A tumbled stone, at peace But caught in the shallows I'm in the arms of a cove tryna map out the sea Should I be worried If that's who I turn out to be? I've been running the numbers Keeping a tally of every behavior we share And every tick or cross is another cross to bear I've been making excuses, but the truth is, I'm going nowhere Maybe I'm already there Now I'm grown, I see You from outside the window A tumbled stone, at peace But caught in the shallows I'm in the arms of a cove Tryna map out the sea Should I be worried If that's who I turn out to be? If I walked a mile in your worn out shoes I wouldn't be waging this war with you Half open wounds, got so much to lose I've been practicing patience Keep my foot on the break And my eyes on the road till it's green